During a dinner party, the hosts' two little kids entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests co-operated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left. As they disappeared out of sight, there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, "You see, it is Vanishing cream!"
The first day of school was going good for the new teacher and in an attempt to "break the ice" with the little second graders, she began to ask each student what their fathers did for a living.
"Mary, what does your father do?" asked the teacher.
Mary replied, "My dad is a mailman".
"That's great Mary. Every town needs a mailman to deliver the mail," said the teacher.
"Nancy, what does your father do? asked the teacher again.
One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his ass over by the holy water," said the boy.
If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him and getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph. What shutter speed would you use?
The lovers had decided that a mutual parting of the ways was best for both of them.
However, on the way to the Airport a rather heated debate started as to whose fault their break-up was.
At the crowded gate, she turned and said, "Thanks for nothing you cheap bastard."
As she went down the ramp with the other passengers, he shouted back, "Hey baby. Don't be like that. If you ever work this town again, give me a call."