1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.
2. Someone is "Driving" since 5 days! I guess he reached Dubai!!!
3. Someone's status is "Happy" since 1 Month. Living in Paradise???
4. Someone is always 'Available'. How free Are you?????
5. From first day their status is, 'Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp' I Know ! That's why you're on my list!
6. Someone writes "urgent calls only". Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service?
7. Someone says, "Can't talk. Whatsapp only". Dude then throw away your phone.. You are not using the phone's Primary function 8. Someone is 'at d movies' for the past 6 weeks. Either he owns d theatre or sells popcorn there....
Santa goes into the dentist's office to get a bad tooth pulled. As he opens his mouth and the dentist is about to drill, he asks how long the procedure will take. "You'll be out of here before you know it, and won't feel a thing - the local will last 10 minutes." "And how much is this costing?" Santa asks. "Rs 500" the dentist states plainly. "Geesh," Santa grumbled, "it's a crime to be able to hold a man captive for five minutes and charge him Rs 500!" "Then for you, I'll give you a special!" the dentist said, and Santa's face looked pleasantly relieved. "I'll take 15 minutes to do the extraction."
A Pastor, a Doctor and an Engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I dont know, but Ive never seen such inaptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Lets have a word with him." [dramatic pause] "Hi George. Say, whats with that group ahead of us? Theyre rather slow, arent they?" The greens
A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.
Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"
Grandpa replies, "Nope."
Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"
Paddy sat in the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any," replied the first fisherman. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second fisherman, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of