A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
Mulla Nasruddin and his wife went to Israel for their holidays, and visited a night club in Tel Aviv. A comedian was on the bill who did his whole act in Hebrew.
Nasruddin's wife sat through the comic's act in silence, but Nasruddin roared with laughter at the end of each joke.
"I didn't know you understood Hebrew," she said to the Mulla when the comedian had concluded his act.
"I don't," replied Nasrudin.
"Well, how come you laughed so much at his jokes?"
Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba, sure is true." responded the lawyer.
"And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba. But why are you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is can I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with?"
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies....."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day.....we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly