Santa bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he did not reach in the evening, and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him, "Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?" Santa got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Mrutti wale paagal ho gaye hain! Agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaae hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?" (These Maruti guys have gone crazy, they ve made four gears for going forward and just one for going back!)
Banta lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Mumbai, and went to him. The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, " Yes, I can put you right." After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel. The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells, "You bastard, you gave me a woman's ears." "Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's." "You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!"
There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi! I'm a zebra. What are you?" "I'm a cow," said the cow. "Right
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried
A gang of hoodlums began hanging out on the steps of the church and hassling worshipers as they came in and out. Finally, the situation got so bad that complaints reached Father Murphy, who decided to go out and talk to the teenagers.
The priest's appearance was greeted by hoots and catcalls. But he went up to the leader and said, "Boys, I think there are better places for you to hang out than on God's doorstep."