A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally, the husband asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again, "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as 'Thank you.'"
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.
Not wanting to be rude, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly.
A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until, at 8 p.m., the husband finally pulls into the driveway. "What happened?" says the wife. "You should have been home hours ago!" "Harry had a heart attack at the third hole," replied the husband. "Oh, that's terrible," says the wife.
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open-heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment.
She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Well, then send the bill to my brother-in-law."