The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Little Johnny was left.
Once there was a Accountant. The business had been in the family for generations and generations. Over time, with the countless clients that had gone in and out of the office, the marble step in front of the building had developed a big, deep dip in it from all the wear and tear. His friends kept telling the accountant that he had better get it replaced, otherwise he'd be sued for everything he had if anyone ever slipped and fell. Reluctantly, the accountant called a
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference." The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch." The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces and says, "Bartender, I don't want 8-year scotch
Once Santa and Banta try to land an airplane in the States. They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screams, the runway is ending...". Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Santa screams again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...". Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again... This goes on again and again... During their fourth descent Santa says : "Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway..", "I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."