Bill Clinton fell deathly ill while being transported home from his Africa trip. Apparently he picked up a strange, life-threatening disease in one of the villages. He was rushed to Bethesda Naval Hospital for a complicated operation. He went under the knife in the early morning, and when he awoke, he saw that the curtains were closed around him and it was dark. "Why are the curtains closed?" the President asked the Secret Service agent sitting beside his bed, "Is it night already?" "No, Sir," the agent said, "There is a huge fire across the street and we didn't want you waking up and looking out the window and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful."
Dear Mom and Dad, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another two hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me. Your son, Johnnie.
P.S. I felt so terrible, I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late."
A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said, "Your prayers were answered. Your letter never arrived!"
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," replies the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you took out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," replies the defendant. "Then my question to you is," demands the prosecutor, "why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" "It seemed easier," the defendant says, "than shooting a different man every day!"
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God.... "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created Windows 95. I'm going to do something I ve never done before. In your case, I m going to let you decide where you want to go." "Well, what s the difference between the two?" Bill