God decided it was time to end the world, so he called together those whom he considered the three most influential people in the world. President of USA Barrack Obama, Chinese President Xi Jinping, and Prime Minister of India Manmohan Singh.
"The world will end," God told them. "You must go and tell the people."
Obama, made a live statement on TV, "I've good news and BAD news." he said. "The good news is that we have been right, there is a God. The bad news
While sports fishing off the Malabar coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!" "No," the man hollered back, "They ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do much of anything," the beachcomber said. "Then, how come they dissappeared," said the tourist. The beachcomber added, "The sharks got 'em."
Teacher: Happy New Year bachchon! Aaj se 2014 start ho raha hai. Is naye saal pe kasam khao ki kabhi bhi sharaab aur cigarette nahin piyoge, drugs nahin loge, non veg nahin khaoge.
Bachche: Theek hai sir, hum sharaab, cigarette, drugs, non veg ko chuenge tak nahin.
Teacher: Kabhi ladkiyaan nahin chedoge.
Bachche: Nahin chedenge sir.
Teacher: Kabhi jua nahin kheloge.
Bachche: Nahin khelenge sir.
Teacher: Desh ke liye apni jaan tak bhi de denge.
Bachche: De denge sir, aisi jaan ka karna bhi kya hai.
There was a man who worked all of his life and had saved his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything. Just before he died, he said to his wife. "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."
Adrian was shocked, but managed to compose himself and walk into the waiting room, where his son had been waiting.
"Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate When things don't go well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head