While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
A minister passed a group of teenaged boys sitting on the church lawn. "Good Evening, boys. What are you doing?" "Nothing much, Pastor," replied the one lad. "We're just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his sex life." "Boys, boys, boys!" intoned the minister. "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never thought about sex at all." The boys looked at each other and then said in unison, "You win, Pastor!"
Banta was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. Banta turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"