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I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's a blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the
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A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets
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Timmy and Tina were sitting down to eat their supper with the baby sitter when 6 year old Timmy saw the baby sitter sit down in his father's seat.

"You can't sit in my father's seat!" Timmy exclaimed.

"Your father is not home," the baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss."

Tina, the 4 year old, quickly replied, "If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's chair!"
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A magazine recently ran a 'Dilbert Quotes' contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America:

'As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.' (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp in Redmond WA)
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A fellow bought a new Mercedes on the Christmas eve and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him.
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After a family meal one night, three generations of the family are sitting around chatting. Jenny, a four year old, is sitting on her grandfather's knee.

Jenny: "Grandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?"

Grandfather: "What?"

Jenny: "Can you make a noise like a frog?"

Grandfather: "Why do you want me to make a noise like a frog?"

Jenny: "Well, last night Daddy said that when you croak we can all go to Disneyland."
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