The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ... that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "
It was a poor.....a hungry, thirsty bum. He was looking for food in a garbage can, when suddenly he finds a can of beer. He opens the can and a magic genie comes out.
"You get three wishes, be very careful and don't spoil them."
"OK, OK," and without hesitation he says, "first I want to be white. Second, I want a lot of girls, naked girls, beautiful girls sitting on my face! And third, I want plenty to drink.... lots of water.
Bam, presto...the Magic Genie turned him into.......a toilet!
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.
The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day."
The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it
1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl.
2. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door and the females run for their dupatta. So, keep ur friends close but your dupatta closer.
3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport/railway stn) is an important family affair. Railway stns are like a stroll in the park.
4. Every teenage girls first crush is Dhoni or Virat Kholi. Mothers approve!! Mothers dont approve film stars
The worried Preeto sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" she said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said Preeto, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I