Subedar Santa and Subedar Imamuddin were in the same regiment in the British Indian Army, they were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. The partition separated them as Subedar Imamuddin was absorbed in the Pakistan Army. To keep his friend's memory alive Subedar Santa always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately! When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained:
"This glass is Imamuddin's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each- One on behalf of Imamuddin, the other for myself."
Suddenly one evening Santa was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what happened. He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Imamuddin has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, officer?" "What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "What does it look
A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand.
The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, "Well, it looks like plastic."
Then he rolled it between his fingers adding, "But it feels like rubber."
Curious, the lawyer asked, "What do you have there mister?"