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A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it up in the helicopter window.
The pilot's sign said, "Where am I?" in large letters.
The people in the
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A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
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Santa, Banta and one of their friends are patients in a mental institution and are preparing for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If they pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes them to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then Banta jumps and breaks both legs.
Santa looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which Santa answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
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"Mr. Jacobs," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit."
"Does that mean I'm cured?" he asked.
"For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You haven't stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know where the kleptomania came from."
"Well, that's terrific, Doctor. Before I go, I'd like to tell you something. Although our relationship is strictly professional, it's been one of the most rewarding of my life. I wish I could do something to repay you for helping me."
"You've paid my fee," the doctor said. "That's the only responsibility you have."
"I know," Jacobs said. "But isn't there some personal favor I could do for you?"
"Well," the doctor said, "I'll tell you what. If you ever suffer a relapse, my son could use a nice portable color television."
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A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said, "Johnnie".
"Right", he said, "what about that blond one over there?"
"Johnnie", she said.
"Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?"
"Johnnie", she said.
"Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball cap?"
"Johnnie", she said.
"Are all your boys called Johnnie?" he asked, "Isn't that terribly complicated?"
"Not at all", she said, "it makes everything very easy, actually. When I shout: Johnnie, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Johnnie, it's time for bed!, they all go to bed."
"I see. But what if you want only one of them?"
"No problem." she answers. Then I call them by their surnames."
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Santa wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's New Year's Party. Santa is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Santa had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of Disprins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a red rose!! Santa sits
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More Articles ...

  1. Poor George Bush !
  2. Hangover !!!
  3. Designatd Decoy!

Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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