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Banta is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.
The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred of trees for you in one day."
So, Banta takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two trees
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A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is is how they answered:

It's always darkest before..... daylight savings times.

You can lead a horse to water but..... how?

Don't bite the hand that..... looks dirty.

A penny saved is..... not much.

Children should be seen and not..... spanked or grounded.

There is no fool like.....Aunt Edie.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and.....you have to blow your nose.
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The little sexy housewife was built so well that the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he'd near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her.
When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make a . . .well . . . unusual request. But you have to first promise me you'll keep it a secret."
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man-- sigh -- he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I'm a woman and you're a man . . . "
The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes; yes!"
"And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the door..."
"Yes; yes!"
"Would you help me move the refrigerator?"
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With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest.

"Throw away 250 resumes?"

I asked, shocked, "What if the best candidates are in there?"

"You have a point," he said. "But then again, I don't need people with bad luck here."
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"How does Jeeto like being pregnant?" Banta asked his friend Santa.
"Oh, she's not pregnant," Santa replied, "she's expecting."
"What's the difference?" Banta pressed.
"Well, Santa explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet . . ."
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A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.

The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?"

"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."

"Whom did you marry?" the lawyer demanded.

"Well, a woman," the witness answered timidly.

The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"

And the witness said meekly, "My sister did."
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More Articles ...

  1. Confession?
  2. Carpooling
  3. Eye Check Up

Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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