"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down the street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course; all my training came back to me in a minute."
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
Blonde woman was driving her car home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a really bad hailstorm. The hailstones were as big as golf balls, and her car got dented up really bad. The next day, she took her car into a repair shop to have the dents examined. The repairman, noticing that she was blonde and quite dingy when she spoke, decided to have some fun. He told her to blow into the tailpipe of the car really hard when she got home, as this would cause
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in, "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."