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From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Mr Drone."
"Drone ! But he is your enemy!"
"Yes, I know that! Ive suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
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As the old man lies dying in the bedroom, out in the parlor the family discusses funeral arrangements.

Son says, "We'll make a real big thing out of it. We'll have five hundred people. We'll order fifty limos."

Daughter says, "Why do you want to waste money like that? We'll have the family and maybe a few friends. One limo just for us."

They proceed. Grandson says, "We'll have lots of flowers. We'll surround him with dozens of roses and lilies, dozens and dozens."

Daughter says, "What a waste! We'll have one little bouquet, that's enough."

Suddenly, the voice of the old man is heard, wafting weakly from the bedroom, "Why don't you get me my pants? I'll walk to the cemetery."
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A guy was speeding down the road and got pulled over by a state trooper.

The trooper said, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going ?"

The driver looked at the trooper and said, "Do you see the woman sitting in the passenger seat ?"

The trooper said. "Yes."

"Thats my wife," the driver said to the trooper, "Do you see the woman sitting in the back seat ?"

The trooper said, "Yes."

"Thats my mother in law. She lives with us. They just had a big spat and she said she was moving out. I'm trying to get them home before they make up !!!!"

The trooper wrote him a warning and then gave him an escort home with lights flashing.
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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts.

"What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Ouch," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful! I had tennis elbow once."
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Spanish captain was walking on his ship...

A soldier rushes to him and says, "One enemy ship is approaching us!"

Captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt"

The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in, heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win.

Soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?"

Captain replies, "If I got injured, then my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to loose hope."
(Moral: For success, hope is very important)

Just then, another soldier, "Sir, we just spotted another TWENTY enemy ships!"

The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."
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Almost 150 yrs ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Mr. Alan Pinkerton.

The function that Pinkerton established actually was the beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time federal police authority has grown to a large number of three-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA.
Now comes a proposal for another agency: The "Airport Security Service."

Can't you see it now, the new service in their black outfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs?
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More Articles ...

  1. First Proctological test
  2. Work & Prison!!!
  3. What's a Church?

Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

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