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A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of meals.

"Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.

"Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get time to see the city?"
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In school one day the teacher decided in science class she would teach about materials.
So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?"
Little Richie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on Little Susie .
Little Susie said "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Ferrari."
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnnie.
Little Johnnie stood up and said, "I would want silicon."
The teacher said, "Why Johnnie?"
He responded by saying, "because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!"
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Santa and Banta observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Santa: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked! "
Banta: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down! "
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A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."

A week later he returned.

"Did you have a good trip, dear?" his wife asked.

"Oh, it was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work," he exclaimed, and added "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

"No I didn't," she replied. "I put them in the box of field equipment!"
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Santa is a store manager. One day he overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed by what was being said, Santa rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then Santa drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Rain."
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An airplane pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take-off.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 321, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and...," when suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers, "Oh My God" OMG! OMG! This is going to hurt... OMG!

Silence reigned! You
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Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

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Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

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