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An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her.

She leaned across to her husband and whispered, "I've just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

He said, "I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid."
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There were three generals, one Chinese, an Iraqi, and a Turk. They were bragging about how good each of their armies were.

The Chinaman said, "My army would kill themselves for their country!"

Then he put a platoon in a little room and told them, "When this feather hits the floor I want all of you to shoot yourselves!"

He then went outside the room and five seconds later there were numerous gunshots and everyone in the room was dead.

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An old codger goes to visit his doctor about painful peeing. His wife goes with him because the poor old bloke is hard of hearing.

After an examination the Doctor says to the old man, "Right, I'll need you to leave a urine, semen and feces samples for analysis."

The old man didn't quite hear the Doctor and asks his wife, "What did the Doctor say?"

The wife replies, "He wants you to leave your underpants here, dear."
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Ek baar ek ladka barsaat ki raat mein ek aunty ko, jo bus stop pe khadi thi, ghar chorne chala gaya.

Ghar pahunh kar aunty ne ladke ka shukriya kiya aur boli: Beta raat bohut ho gai hai, tum yahin BITTU ke kamre me so jao!
Ladka bola: Nahin aunty mein yahin SOFA par so jaunga.
Agle din Subah ek bohut hi sundar, hot ladki chai le kar aai.
Ladka: Aap kaun ho.......??
Ladki: Me BITTU hun. Aap kaun.....??
Ladka: Main saala ullu ka pattha....
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An Amish was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.

"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."

"I thank thee," replied the lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."

"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people
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Three men were sitting in a bar talking about how whipped they had their wives.

The first two kept bragging about how they could get their wives to do anything.

They looked at the third man and he said, "I have my wife so whipped that the other day I had her crawling towards me on her hands and knees."

Both of the other men were very impressed and asked him how he had managed that.

The man replied, "Well, I was laying under the bed and she crawled over and said, 'Come out and fight like a man!'"
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Blondes Article Count: 126

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Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

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