BMW: Brings Me Women. FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology. FORD: For Only Rough Drivers. HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive.... VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object. PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything. OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always. GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.
An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian
A boy was caught stealing a watch from a shop. He was taken to a police station and put in a lock-up. A hardened criminal lodged there showed some sympathy and said, "You are wasting time on small items. Why don't you rob a bank?" The boy replied, "By the time I leave school, all banks are closed."
When the British government let out bids for the digging of a tunnel under the English Channel, estimates were in the millions of pounds. One firm asked only 10,000 pounds, however.
"Considering equipment and labour cost," the construction chairman asked the low bidder, "how do you propose to do the job for such a pittance?"
"It's simple," the contractor replied, "my partner grabs a shovel, goes to France and start digging. I take another shovel and start digging from England. We dig until we meet - and you've got a tunnel!"
The orthopedic surgeon Joe worked for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.
Joe sat the display skeleton in the front of his car, his bony arm across the back of his seat. Joe hadn't considered the drive across town.
At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside him became obvious, and he looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of his window, "I hate to tell you," he said, "but I think it's too late!"